Restoring the Christian Family
Published by Victory House Publishers 1979
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    Part I
  1. The Demon That Rises with Us — Materialism is a way of looking at life which insists that only what we can detect by physical means is real. Because of this, we have lost our ability to understand what it means to have a spirit and a soul. Spiritual development is God's sole intent for creating the family.
  2. A Heart of Flesh for a Heart of Stone — The Hebraic-Christian view of spirit and body flowing together in oneness. For Christians, the Spirit of Christ flows through everything we are and do. Nothing is secular. Our hearts of stone reject physical expressions of love. To express Christ fully, we must have our hearts restored to flesh.
  3. Man and Woman Becoming One Flesh — Marriage is a twenty-four-hour-a-day, 365-days-a-year, exercise in the art of forgiveness. If a couple are truly married, they will begin to work out their hassles in Christ. In Christ, our mate is the one person who will see what we are and still choose to love us. Marriage is a pilgrimage from individual self-centeredness to ever fuller corporate life.
  4. Animus and Anima — Left-brain and right-brain characteristics should be in balance in us. Usually, however, one side or the other is dominant. We tend to recognize in our spouse those areas where we are weak and look to him or her for our fulfillment in that area. Unless we know Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, we will demand too much.
  5. Fathers, Sons, and Daughters — Everything a father does in the presence of a son or daughter is an implantation of what the father is to the children. A child does not become what the father says; he becomes what the father is. Real teaching is accomplished by what we are every moment of our lives with our children. If a father has truly lived the Way in Christ, it is easy for a son to do the same; if the father has not, our Lord will first have to overcome and bring to death in the son what the father was.
  6. Mothers, Sons and Daughters — God has exalted women to the highest position by giving them the place of greatest service. Perhaps the greatest theft from women has been their spiritual awareness of the unique glory of their position and tasks as mothers. Right there in the constant repetitions of daily unnoticed chores, in the midst of the drudgery, sparkles the radiance of God's presence, incarnating the life of Jesus Christ among men.
    Part II
  7. The Position of a Husband — Too many Christian husbands have heard the call to headship, only to translate the world's concepts of authority into the home. That has brought control, dominance, and exaltation of the flesh, not blessing. Headship is actually responsibility to serve. A husband is given to bless and fulfill his wife's life.
  8. The Importance of a Father's Love — Fathers' love for their children is so important that without it a curse comes upon the land. Fathers impart strength of spirit when they show affection to their children. Lacking that, children will dishonour their parents. Every failure in life can be traced sooner or later to the breaking of the one command, "Honour thy father and mother..."
  9. The Place of a Wife — A wife knows her husband's heart far better than he. All her scolding and sharing, teasing and love-making has behind it the fact that God has locked her heart to her husband's, to do him good as a full partner.
  10. The Importance of a Mother's Love — Let it be the earnest prayer of every mother that she can so rest in who she is in the Lord, that in all her attempts to love she might eventually love her children to freedom to become her friends. She must die to her role as mother, and let her child go, in order to receive again a friend and companion.
  11. Getting at Roots of Bitterness — Bitter roots are perhaps the most powerful negative force in all our life, bringing destruction not only to us but to all our loved ones. Fortunately, nothing is more sure than forgiveness when we repent of those roots and claim the fulfillment of the law of judgment in the sacrifice of the Son of God.
  12. Balance Through the Fulcrum of Christ — Only as Jesus Christ is the power at the center of our lives can we relate to one another without strain from the extremities of our differentnesses. Without Him, we tend to unconsciously try to compensate for what we see as the other's weaknesses.
  13. Restoring the Biblical Functions of the Family — Perhaps the most important gift a father has to bestow is his blessing. God has so placed fathers that their prayers give Him access or block His graces. Great blessings descend upon our children the closer we approach to God.
  14. Surviving Parents, Divorcees and Singles — Counselors are needed to show God's love to those who are hurting from the loss or lack of a spouse. The task of these counselors is to do themselves out of a job. They should point the way to healing through maturity in Christ and then step out of the way.
  15. A Place for Fantasy — Imagination is the window of the soul. Through it we can come to more understanding of our children than most any other way.
    Part III
  16. Death Under the Law, but Life in the Spirit — The church must cease to flee from comprehending the depths of grace in the heart, or today's pressures will succeed in destroying family life. It is usually those who are striving the hardest in their flesh to be what Jesus wants who are driving the church and their families to distraction and rebellion. The answer is not to give up, but to surrender all our striving to death on Jesus' cross, that His life may truly be ours — and to be filled with His Holy Spirit.
  17. Nebuchadnezzar's Image — There is no sin which does not involve idolatry. When others refuse to bow down to our god (our idea, our view of the way things should go, our opinion of ourself, whatever), we blow up in a fit of fury. This anger is a blessing, however, since by recognizing that it has its roots in idolatry, we can then ask God to reveal the idol so that we may turn it over to destruction in the cross.
  18. Renunciation or Cutting Free — Yesterday's good is tomorrow's evil. We mature and change and yesterday's harness won't fit tomorrow's task. Our relationships in the family change because we change. If we do not cut the umbilical cord, the old blood of the old life will contaminate the new. Whatever our life is, until we renounce it, it grows and has a life of its own, until it has us.
  19. Forgiveness — Countless times Christians become enmeshed again in the same old carnalities because they refused to forgive others; all that had been forgiven and washed away came back upon them. Whatever we judge in another we are doomed to become or to reap in our own lives. And whatever we do not forgive returns us to the mess we just came out of.
  20. Eagle Christians — Those families that give love and laughter but do not overprotect create heart. Men and women with natural heart can stand the breaking and crushing which produces saints. God wants our families to be the launching pads for that kind of eagle Christians.
  21. The Family of God — The production of eagle Christians is not the end but the beginning. For God gives them as gifts to the church. God wants whole people who because they can stand alone can submit also to others, and because they can submit to others can fly alone.
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